Today's Stupidity Index

Today's Stupidity Index is

HIGH

with a 95% chance of idiocy.

What this means:

• Avoid unnecessary driving, as other drivers will be on the phone, eating lunch, and otherwise not paying attention to the one-ton projectile they have aimed at you.
• Avoid unnecessary shopping, as other shoppers will stop short in front of you to stare blankly at nothing, then swing their cart randomly into your way as you try to go around them, then mutter darkly about how rude you are as you walk away.
• Hell, just avoid people in general. Stay home and get drunk. That's what I'm going to do.